Another Way of Getting To Your Center

Do you remember that commercial: “How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of the tootsie pop?” That poor owl could never seem to make it past three. He was so eager to get to the answer! In a way, that owl is just like you: You can make quick decisions about where you want to get to, and suddenly bypass the whole process of getting to know yourself. You find yourself having made rash decisions without checking in along the way. And, on another level, the tootsie pop itself is also you: a hard exterior protecting a softer center, one which (you believe) the world may never know.

If you asked a friend to describe you, they’d say you’ve got it together. You’ve heard people tell you they think you’re brave, because you go your own way, you think for yourself, you’re full of interesting ideas and are capable of achieving what you set your mind to. But sometimes you wonder if they can really see all of you. Part of you worries that people have started to buy in to the capability of your exterior, and they can’t make room for the softer, more confused and scared parts of you to emerge. And when life gets hard and overwhelming, you’re afraid nobody will be there to lean on. You’re used to being a solo flyer, but it feels lonely when the things that used to help you aren’t working anymore.

And maybe you’re thinking, why would I want those more timid and vulnerable parts of me to show? What good would that do? Those softer parts of the harder feelings have so much to tell us about who you are and what you crave in your life. But we don’t have to know the answers before we begin, and we don’t have to get there quickly. Learning patience for your own process can gently allow a deeper connection with your authentic self. Relief from the intensity of anger, depression, and fear of vulnerability can come from going into the feelings, letting their voices be heard, and listening deeply to what they have to say. You’ve been keeping this stuff in for so long, stuffing it down with quick impulses around food and alcohol and exercise and self-criticism—this way of being is turning on you, and it is no longer serving you to ignore the consequences.

You know better than anyone what’s right for you, and you are looking for a therapist who is easy to talk to, educated, and non-judgmental to help you understand what’s feeding the patterns that make it hard for you to live the life you want. Take another message from the wiser part of your owl: Call me today for a free phone consultation to see whether we’d be a good fit to work together. None of us can do this alone. We are all interconnected, and therapy can help you breathe into your most vibrant and aware life, that takes into account all of you and helps you find deep and authentic connections within yourself and your relationships.

“And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers…. And new ones will find you and cherish you. … And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.” – Audre Lorde